MyFoothold Blog: 4 Common Caregiver Stressors. What’s hardest for you?

As a family caregiver, it can be challenging attending to the needs of your loved one without feeling so overwhelmed.

There are things that happen, or don’t happen, that can cause us to feel out of control of our lives, leaving us feeling hopeless and with moments of despair. We all have those moments.

We can often lose sight of the progress we have made and start to believe that nothing will ever change.

But that is not truth. Things can change.

So in reflection of the previous year, what were your biggest stressors? Where would you like to see change, to allow for greater peace in your heart and to allow for you to live a more fulfilled life?

Let’s take a look at 4 of the most common stressors family caregivers face and look at some options for reducing that stress which will allow you to better care for yourself.

This is my year. Things have to change.

4 Common Stressors that Family Caregivers Face.

As this community of family caregivers continues to grow, I am so encouraged by your many testimonies of changes that began in 2022. Let us continue that in 2023 by first identifying the stressors that are still stumbling blocks and then identifying ways of decreasing them and the negative affects they cause.

Please note that not all caregiver stressors are the same, or have the same degree of impact in a particular area. Where do you land in the four common areas identified?

Financial Stressor.

This can be a biggie. As a family caregiver, the financial stress of caregiving can hit really hard. Often due to just not having an armor trunk of cash in the bank and in many cases compounded due to loss of income as a result of the need of caregivers to decrease work hours or leave the workforce altogether to care for a family member. It’s important to know that there are resources available to help reduce the financial burden of caring for a loved one. If you searched in 2022 and came up empty-handed, search again this year. Different fundings and changes in qualifiers may have happened, resulting in new eligibility for services in 2023. Local and national foundations may have received grants, new programs under Medicaid may be available in different states and there have also been changes in veteran benefits for 2023. So it’s important to do your research again and find out what is available. And never be embarrassed to ask anyone – including family and friends – if they know of any opportunities or programs they could recommend that could help lessen the financial weight of being a family caregiver.

Emotional Stressor.

Surprisingly, financial stress is not the biggie for all family caregivers. There are caregivers whose parents are financially sound, and have the resources that allow them to hire caregivers or become residents in the best facilities, but they insist sons/daughters (spouse) show up daily due to the parent’s emotional dependency, thus causing extreme emotional distress for the adult child. There are also parents and spouses that use guilt to control the involvement of their family members in their lives. Then there are also the sons/daughters who are constantly doing more and more to assist parents, in order to gain that parent’s approval, always with a fear or concern that their parent may not sense that they are loved if they do not cater to their every desire. That son/daughter can feel at constant stress due to always wanting to please a parent. Does this in anyway describe your caregiving journey in 2022? Has it prevented you from creating a proper caregiving balance in your life? It doesn’t have to continue. Professional counseling may be an option for you, to get to the root cause of dependent behaviors. Learning to set boundaries with your loved one may also be what is needed. Start exploring options.

Physical Stressor

This is a HUGE BIGGIE —physical stress. This one is a true concern of my heart. As a home health occupational therapist who enters many homes, I see so many husbands, wives, sons and daughters doing too much, or doing it the hard way, the long way — expending valuable time and energy that they should be using on themselves. So many injuries occurring to caregivers.

The first two stressors (financial and emotional stress)can lead to the physical stress. When you have no resources to hire a caregiver to help or if you are emotionally driven to always do more, it will lead to physical stress. Listening to your body is key to lowering physical stress. Acknowledge and respect your body’s limitations. Where in your body are you experiencing pain when assisting your loved one? Ignoring pain can result in debilitating injury to yourself. Make it a priority to learn easier and safer ways of performing those daily tasks this year. Is the home setup to allow your loved one to do more for themselves? Do you use the proper technique when assisting them in and out of bed or in the bathroom? Do you know that there are devices and equipment that can make tasks and errands easier, saving you time and energy? Look for ways to decrease your workload. Look for ways to free up time for yourself.

Social Isolation

Was isolation the biggie for you? For many caregivers, the loneliness and silence of having to be the sole caregiver is heartbreaking. It happens, easily. When there always seems to be one more thing that needs to be done and no one shows up to help, it can leave you missing out on other important people and events in your life. How many times have your husband, children or grandchildren been put on the back burner due to a caregiving responsibility in 2022? When have you been out with friends? How can we change that for 2023? The change can start today by putting important events and plans on the calendar and seeking others to help take on caregiving responsibiities. If you can not get away frequently, what support group or what on-line class can you take that allows for you to interact with others? Make time to reconnect to your interests and to others.

Bottom line:

While there are many challenges we face as caregivers, you can find ways to reduce the stress in your life and make caregiving more manageable by maintaining open communication of your needs and examining financial, emotional, physical and social limitations. If you don’t have time to address all of these areas on your own, join a community of caregivers or support group to assist you in your journey. Doing so can ignite life into moments that may otherwise seem tiresome or impossible. It’s important not just to look after our loved ones, but also ourselves – and if done properly, we can see vast benefits manifest in our lives. As a caregiver coach, I appreciate opportunities to interact with fellow caregivers and use my experiences and training to provide support wherever possible. Please be sure to reach out for further assistance if needed!

Listen to Episode 47 of Caregivers Finding A Foothold Podcast which speaks to this same topic.

Disclaimer: The podcast and blog are intended to provide basic information so that you can become a more informed caregiver. The information presented is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not meant to serve as medical advice or replace consultation with any health care providers you regularly engage with. Transmission or receipt of any of this information is not intended to, and does not, create a therapist-patient relationship. This information is not provided in the course of a therapist-patient relationship and is not intended to constitute medical advice or to substitute for obtaining medical advice from a physician or therapist licensed in the state where your family may reside. We encourage everyone to consult with your physician or therapist to see if they are appropriate and safe for you.

  

 
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MyFoothold Blog: Moving from the Winter of Caregiving into Your Spring Season

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MyFoothold: The Desire For Change.