Katie wonders, “Can I still care for my husband at home?”
The dream of a perfect marriage is just that — a dream. No marriage is perfect, there are many challenges as two lives strive to become one. The stress of careers, finances and then the addition of children can make marriage the hardest thing you can sign up to do. But nothing can give you more fulfillment than having that marriage where both husband and wife are determined to remain true and committed to the vows that they made to each other.
Katie is just like us, with hopes and dreams, of a good marriage. She had grown up with parents who loved each other, they had their struggles, they had many disagreements and things were hard but they remained committed to each other. Katie wanted that and she found it in Steward.
Married twenty-five years, with three children, life was fine. The children were all entering adulthood — had moved out or leaving for college. Life was fine. A new chapter was opening up and Katie can remember feeling excited about the possibility of freedom from constant chores and yet already beginning to miss having her children home.
Katie began to re-invent herself, determined to now invest time into herself. This, however, was short-lived. Life had other plans.
Nothing prepared Katie for Steward’s unexpected health crisis. At 55 years of age, Steward had a stroke and life for Katie and Steward changed forever. Katie was now re-inventing herself as caregiver for her husband. There was no thinking twice about the decision to assist with caring for Steward in their home as Steward struggled with left-side body paralysis.
Katie continued to work full-time as Steward was able to initially care for himself. But over the years, Steward has had other health crises and Katie is also faced with health concerns of her own. Physically, Katie is having difficulty continuing to care for Steward. Steward is resistant to receiving help from the hired caregiver who is able to assist him.
Katie is now at a crossroad and struggling. She struggles with constantly thinking “What are others going to say if I decide that I can’t continue to care for Steward at home? Does it mean I don’t love him anymore? Will he think I don’t love him anymore? Am I being selfish?
Katie is now working with me to create a plan, —with techniques, strategies, training on how to safely and efficient continue the care at home if she chooses to. I am helping Katie to pinpoint the tasks that are difficulty, that make her feel defeated and that cause her physical pain. We are exploring and learning better, easier ways of providing the care in the most efficient manner by training both Katie and her hired caregiver. We are also looking at environment changes to improve safety and safety equipment to put in place. We are exploring ways to allow Steward to gain more independence.
Consuela Marshall, Occupational Therapist, Caregiver
Listen to the Caregiver’s Finding A Foothold Episode 31: Katie Wonders If She Can Continue Caring For Stewart. The podcast is available on the FindingAFoothold.com website and on all major podcast streaming sites.
Visit the FindingAFoothold.com. Call the call-in line to tell your caregiving challenge and receive a free response to your struggle on an upcoming podcast show. The call in button is located on the website.
Visit the consult page of the website, find out how to schedule a free 15 minute consult to discuss in more depth your caregiving challenge and learn how to receive help developing a caregiving plan specific for your needs.
Subscribe to the podcast. Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Instagram.
Disclaimer: The podcast and blog are intended to provide basic information so that you can become a more informed caregiver. The information presented is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not meant to serve as medical advice or replace consultation with any health care providers you regularly engage with. Transmission or receipt of any of this information is not intended to, and does not, create a therapist-patient relationship. This information is not provided in the course of a therapist-patient relationship and is not intended to constitute medical advice or to substitute for obtaining medical advice from a physician or therapist licensed in the state where your family may reside. We encourage everyone to consult with your physician or therapist to see if they are appropriate and safe for you.