How do I help my aging parents…while still engaging in tasks meaningful to my life?

As caregivers, we have to understand or figure out what is it that our parents need help to do and what portions of tasks that they can still do for themselves?  Guard against jumping in and doing too much too soon, allowing them to maintain safe skills and minimize your  involvement in doing unneeded tasks.  Encourage their safe independence and delegate tasks to others.  YOU don’t have to do it all.

Unfortunately, we can’t create new time on the clock to do tasks, and sometimes activities drop out of our lives as we add in the parent caregiving tasks.  But we must strive to hold onto tasks that are meaningful and bring joy to our lives. There is often a struggle to connect those two aspects of our lives together.

So if you're that son and you're always at your parents and doing so many things there that things are falling apart at home… or  you’re that daughter who is neglecting things at her own home and missing out on things that are important for her children and her husband, you need to re-evaluate how you are stepping into that role as a caregiver.   And I am not saying that you don’t have to sacrifice sometimes.  There are times then something is urgent and needs to be done, but just on a routine ongoing basis, you want to always create a healthy balance in how you, especially initially, step into that role as the caregiver.

I am not saying to abandon your parents but I do want you to find that balance zone — what are those things that need to stay priority in your life and what things can you let go to help your parents. 

Now think…what are those activities that you enjoy, that bring you fulfillment?  Do you like gardening, running, fishing, reading, spending time with other family and friends?  Make a schedule, include those activities on your calendar that you enjoy,  and add in those tasks that your aging parents need help to perform.  Keep a healthy balance.  Enjoy your life!

Today’s blog is inspired by a caregiver question to the call-in line of Finding A Foothold . To hear questions and other challenges from caregivers in our community, please check out the website and Episode 2: How Do I Help My Aging Parents…While Still Engaging In Tasks Meaningful To My Life?  If you have a question, please call and allow this community to share hope and tips you can use.  Your question may inspire our next blog!   Please subscribe to the Finding A Foothold podcast.

Consuela Marshall, Occupational Therapist

Disclaimer: The podcast and blog are intended to provide basic information so that you can become a more informed caregiver. The information presented is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not meant to serve as medical advice or replace consultation with any health care providers you regularly engage with. Transmission or receipt of any of this information is not intended to, and does not, create a therapist-patient relationship. This information is not provided in the course of a therapist-patient relationship and is not intended to constitute medical advice or to substitute for obtaining medical advice from a physician or therapist licensed in the state where your family may reside. We encourage everyone to consult with your physician or therapist to see if they are appropriate and safe for you.