Your Loved One Has had a stroke; Now What?
Finding A Foothold in caregiving can often mean knowing where to start and what the first steps should be.
When my mom had her first stroke, I remember exactly where I was. The phone rang, and the news instantly shifted everything in my world. As an occupational therapist, I was familiar with stroke recovery, but suddenly, it was my mom.
The journey we embarked on was both emotionally and physically challenging. There were many things I already knew, but I also learned so many lessons along the way that I want to share with you to help you best support your loved one and ensure they are given the best opportunity to recover and live the best quality of life after the stroke.
I also want you to be armed with knowledge to enable you to provide the care that is needed within your limits and to know the options that are available. Let’s start at the beginning, and then we will travel through several phases of recovery and caregiving together.
Become a learner.
3 Steps To Take After Learning Your Loved One Has had a Stroke.
Honestly, as caregivers, these are not the first steps. For me, it was more like number one was crying my eyes out; number two was taking the long four-hour trip to see her, and number three was probably slapping (not literally) my sisters and telling them not to think the worst and get themselves together. I do recommend that you be there to emotionally support and comfort your loved one while also shifting into a mode of learning.
As caregivers, when you receive the news that a loved one has had a stroke, it can be crushing. Emotionally it can be hard seeing your loved one, who was independent one day, suddenly have weakness and paralysis and now require assistance to do basic things. The shock can be overwhelming, and you are now bombarded with so much new information. My advice to you is to take notes and become a learner. Here is where you can start:
1. Learn: What Is A Stroke? Also called CVA (Cerebral Vascular Accident)
Most have heard of a stroke, but there are also so many myths that circulate. Start reading while you are waiting. Read any literature given to you by the hospital and do some research of your own. You don’t have to dive too deep, but gain increased knowledge of a stroke. In general, a stroke happens when the brain doesn’t get the oxygen it needs. Blood vessels carry oxygen to specific areas of the brain, and when those vessels are blocked or ruptured, the cells in that area begin to die. Since the brain controls every part of our bodies, strokes can look different for everyone. Depending on the area of the brain affected, your loved one may lose mobility, speech, or memory. Understanding that each stroke is unique helps you understand why your loved one’s stroke differs from what you may have seen in the past in others. Knowing more about a stroke also helps to prepare for what may come ahead.
2. Learn: What Type of Stroke Did Your Loved One Have?
All strokes are not created equal. There are two main types of strokes: ischemic and hemorrhagic. An ischemic stroke happens when a blood vessel is blocked, preventing blood from flowing to the brain. A hemorrhagic stroke occurs when a blood vessel ruptures and bleeds into the brain. The severity and outcomes can vary greatly depending on the type of stroke and where the stroke occurred. Ask their doctor. Knowing this helps you work with doctors and therapists to set realistic goals and expectations for recovery.
3. Learn: It Is Important to Stay Encouraged and Motivated.
Caregivers often hear the worst: "Your loved one may never walk again," or "They might never regain speech." While some of these statements may be true, I’ve seen firsthand how hope, motivation, and therapy can work wonders. Focus on what your loved one can still do, and encourage them to keep going and to participate in therapies fully. Their recovery may not be perfect, but with support, they can have a good quality of life. As a caregiver, you may now live in a “new normal” after your loved one has had a stroke. You must stay encouraged, respect your limits, and do your best to take care of yourself too.
Bottom line:
Becoming a learner is one of the best ways to support your loved one after they’ve had a stroke. You don’t need to know everything immediately, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. But by educating yourself about strokes and understanding the recovery process, you’re better equipped to help your loved one. Remember to hold on to hope, embrace small victories, and take things one day at a time. You are not alone in this journey, and with each step, you’re helping your loved one find their footing again.
Thank you for all that you do as a caregiver.
As a caregiver coach, I appreciate opportunities to interact with fellow caregivers and use my experiences and training to provide support wherever possible. Please be sure to reach out for further assistance if needed! Join the Finding A Foothold Community.
Listen to Episode 60 of Finding A Foothold Podcast which speaks to this same topic - and has practical examples and real-life scenarios on ways to apply the steps given.
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Disclaimer: The podcast and blog are intended to provide basic information so that you can become a more informed caregiver. The information presented is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not meant to serve as medical advice or replace consultation with any health care providers you regularly engage with. Transmission or receipt of any of this information is not intended to, and does not, create a therapist-patient relationship. This information is not provided in the course of a therapist-patient relationship and is not intended to constitute medical advice or to substitute for obtaining medical advice from a physician or therapist licensed in the state where your family may reside. We encourage everyone to consult with your physician or therapist to see what is appropriate and safe for you.