You must include YOU in the Caregiving Plan.
You may say, “What caregiving plan? I don’t have a plan, I just do it. I just take care of my mom, my dad or my spouse.” Well, yes you do — that is your plan. It may not be a written plan, but it is your action plan, your lived-out day.
Your caregiving plan is what you decide or allow to take place everyday that you interact in your caregiving role. It is the routine of what transpires day in and day out as you care for your loved one. That’s the plan. That’s your plan.
Your caregiving plan is: What tasks are being performed, how are they being performed, how often they are being performed, who is performing the tasks and is the outcome positive for me as well as my loved one?
There is a quote, some sources credit Lewis Carroll, other sources dispute him as author:
“If you don’t know where you’re going,
any road will take you there.”
Make time for your needs!
A commentary regarding this quote stated:
"If you don't have goals, your strategy can be anything and you'll succeed at reaching every goal you did not set."
I love this commentary because it describes to a tee what occurred in my life as caregiver for my mom.
So to remind you of my story, my mom had several stokes and eventually moved in with me and my family. All I wanted to do was to take care of her, to do whatever I could to make her comfortable and to make sure her needs were met.
And like most “I’m-gonna-save-the-world” daughters, I did it all. And as an occupational therapist, I did even more than average. I felt that it was my opportunity to show how much I loved my mom by doing every occupational therapy technique I had in my toolbox.
I didn’t have a clear plan of how I was going to integrate caring for my mom into my life while taking into account my responsibilities, wants and needs. Quickly the focus was mainly on my mom’s needs.
And soon I was becoming very successful at achieving goals I didn’t set. The goals were
--anger, bitterness, resentfulness, burnout, etc.
All because I did not include ME —my needs, my desires, self-care into the plan. I was soon in over my head. Statistics show that roughly 4 in 10 (38%) of family caregivers find their situation highly stressful.
https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregiver-statistics-health-technology-and-caregiving-resources/
So let’s ask the question again: Are you included in your caregiving plan? Do you make space in your caregiving day to nurture your needs and the needs of your spouse, your children? Or do these important relationships have to settle for what little part of what is left of your time and energy at the end of each day?
Let’s change that! Let’s start to rewrite the blueprint of your caregiving plan!
Group Coaching Options
For Family Caregivers:
UN-Losing You In Caregiving Group Coaching.
A safe place to share your concerns and be equipped with tools and strategies that can help you to identify your role as a family caregiver and can help you to tailor a caregiving plan that allows you to take care of your needs while also addressing the needs of your loved one.
For Aging Older Adults and Family Caregivers who have concerns about their loved ones who still live in their homes:
“Staying Safe In Your Home” Group Coaching
Learn to safely age in your home, gaining knowledge from expert-led discussions and practical solutions to allow you to adapt how you perform tasks and setup your environment to decrease fall risks, bring you improved safety and your loved ones greater peace of mind..
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Disclaimer: The podcast and blog are intended to provide basic information so that you can become a more informed caregiver. The information presented is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not meant to serve as medical advice or replace consultation with any health care providers you regularly engage with. Transmission or receipt of any of this information is not intended to, and does not, create a therapist-patient relationship. This information is not provided in the course of a therapist-patient relationship and is not intended to constitute medical advice or to substitute for obtaining medical advice from a physician or therapist licensed in the state where your family may reside. We encourage everyone to consult with your physician or therapist to see what is appropriate and safe for you.